The lady at the door looked out of place. She even looked like she knew she looked out of place. Not a complete fool, then, though her brightly colored silk suit and nested cravats were rather silly wear in these quarters…
Hold, adventurer!
You mustn’t go into the woods beyond
For they are dark and dangerous
And I have read the omens
All of which speak of your doom
“Cindy, love, I’m telling you: glass slippers are a terrible idea”, she tried to convince the girl. “For one thing, you’re certain to slip. You won’t be a very graceful dancer…
She heard you
But she would not speak
Questions were met with silence
Like an echo refused
And though she was cornered and caged…
Dear
I hope this finds you well
I promised I would write
That plan has sadly failed
I have made a mess
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?”
“I’m scared, mama.”
“Why are you scared?”
“Because of the monsters under my bed.”
“Even if I do remember, how am I supposed to make the gestures?”
“What? Just copy the doorman.”
“Copy? You dof? I got no opposable thumbs, bru.”
“Hi there, boy. Whatcha up to?”
“Uh, hi yusself. Woof. Just digging.”
“Any particular reason?”
“Yeah, naw, I jus’ reckon someone oughta do it”…
Why does the willow weep, my friend?
Why does the willow weep? …
RECIPE FOR TOTALLY NORMAL HUMAN FOOD SOUP
By: human (not cat)