Let’s get a move on, Liz.
Can’t move.
What? Why not?
I am a leaf.
No, you’re not.
I am a LEAF.
You’re not a… Look, I’m going to poke you. There, see? You’re squishy.
I am a–
Don’t say it.
– squishy leaf.
Oh for fu– Aleafsayswhat?
What?
NOTHING! A leaf says nothing.
Sometimes leaves say swoosh.
No, the wind goes swoosh.
The leaves help.
How are they helping? They’re just sitting there.
Like I am sitting here. Like a leaf. Which I am.
Oh really? What plant are you attached to?
I’m not. I am a dead leaf. No point eating me. Waste of time.
I see. And as a dead leaf, you have no need for nutrition, right?
Correct. For I do nothing. Except decompose.
So if I were to put this particularly crunchy, juicy cricket here, that would be of no interest to you.
…
Would it?
I am not a leaf…
That’s what I thought.
…I am a carnivorous plant.
I knew I should have gotten a puppy…